words « what the day brings…

words…

December 7, 2011 at 10:13 pm (art, beautiful, soul, words)

i heart this poem…njoy what the day brings.

This Type Love by Saul Williams

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.
and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.

And check this-

I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel
and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
The only difference is this is one of those real type loves

and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love and I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again

and I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ’cause it makes her happy type love

and check this-

I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when our numbers dial in type love and talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ’cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and I don’t want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long as I’d like to type love
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair. Well maybe not all of the hair, maybe like I’d cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

I kind of feel comfortable now so I even be fantasize about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.

I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is, but I’m married so she is gonna be the one I share this love with.

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25 random things about me…

October 28, 2011 at 2:40 pm (random, thoughts, today, words)

My favorite color is green.
I love every Transformers movie. I watch them every time they come on.
Chocolate make everything better. Try it…it works!
I’m a closet DJ – my mixes are insane.
I’m obsessed with music. I know people say that, but it’s really, really bad. Gospel, Soul, 90’s Hip-Hop (especially, Tribe and DeLa…Q-tip is a genius), House, and Jazz. Good music is freeing!
I own 3 iPods.
I hate repeating myself.
I don’t like my time wasted.
I’m upset that Haagen-Dazs stopped making Mayan Chocolate ice cream.
I own more shoes than one person should.
Richard Smallwood’s Total Praise is the most perfect gospel song written. Yes I said it!
I can listen to Stevie’s Songs in the Key of Life all day long. Pure genius. I was 5 when I heard it and cried listening to Love’s in Need of Love Today. How weird is that? I’ve been a devoted Stevie fan ever since.
Donny Hathaway’s self-titled project released April 2, 1971 is a masterpiece. Hands down! Seriously…A Song for You…tears at the threads of your soul.
The older I become the more I want to nap. How awful!
Flat singing makes me literally itch.
I hate anything that lacks artistry and imagination.
I miss dancing sometimes.
The older I get, the more I cry. Shhhhhh.
I want my forever after.
In my spare time, I’m a superhero.
I love honey turkey sandwiches and plain Lay’s chips.
I’m a human tape recorder, if I hear something twice, good or bad, I can sing or say it. Sad.
I can identify movies before the opening credits without having seen it in the theater. Seriously, ask my friends.
I change the colors of my computer display at work weekly. Today it’s shades of orange, yellow and hot pink. Super bright and pretty.
I miss my mommy.

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the light

October 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm (love, poetry, soul, today, words)

Your light used to frighten me

Shining brightly on my inconsistencies and faults

So I hid

At least I thought I did

Forgetting most days that You are all seeing

Your ways past finding out

I thought I was really getting away

Playing shadow games with my flesh

Pleasing it often

Never thinking that You would discover my duplicity

My covert operations were flawless to most but never to You

I would stick and move

Bob and weave

I try to laundry my life as best as I could so that I would look clean

Perfume my stench with perfunctory worship so people wouldn’t suspect

I loved the dark

I thought it made me cool

Invisible

Slick

I would see the search light of your love looking for me but I would duck into the dimness of my sin

Feeling dangerous

Important

Smarter than You

Thinking all the while that I got away

But you saw me

Every dance with the devil

Every gamble with my fate

Every debt I could not pay

Slowly my life would turn black

But You saw me

Your light still searching

Your light finding me in the gloom

You spoke and I felt the light from Your mouth illumine me

A light so bright that I saw myself

Broken

Wasted

Dying

But you saw me

Blessed my life with light

All consuming

Warm

Full of love and compassion

Power and truth

Now I glow

No longer afraid of the light

I will walk therein

Unrestrained commitment

You

My light and lamp

Never-ending

Unlimited

Boundless

Radiance

Illumination

I see You clearly

Your love for me

Yet darkness calls me

A fraction of me craves it

The chase stimulating

Sometimes exciting

But I turn Your light towards me

Its rays dispels the murkiness

And I repent remembering Your light

Father even if I try to love the darkness

Let me give it up for You

And love You more

Make my life Your light

So that You may be seen high and lifted up in me

Forever

Shining

In my soul

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I’m back…

October 24, 2011 at 6:36 pm (love, poetry, soul, thoughts, words)

I have to admit that it’s been a minute since I’ve posted. My days are so full that sometimes it’s hard to sit still and write. In my last post, I said farewell to my 30′s and hello to my 40′s. Since then, I went on an amazing vacay to D.R., and traveled to ATL for a conference. All in the midst of my daily routine of work, rehearsals and just life.

This month unlike others has really ushered me into a different place. I feel as if truly change is happening and I’m paying attention so that I don’t screw it up.

I’ve also been inspired to write again. I’m not sure how long this will last but I’ll embrace it for as long as it wishes to stay. We’ll see what the day brings…

THE GLORY

I want to be in that place where I can let my hair down
I want to exchange my glory for Your glory
Let me be brave enough to break my box and pour my life on You
Let me be strong enough to be weak in Your presence
I’ve played the hero in my world for too long
Living up to the standard of being tough
It’s made my heart hard of hearing
I became deaf to the sound of Your heartbeat
Not recognizing its rhythm and melody playing the song of my life
I was afraid to let You be God
Control issues still force my hands and will to do things I know don’t make you smile
But I’m here now
Box in hand
Filled to the brim with everything I own
I’ve been saving all my life for this moment
But I’ve been afraid of staring eyes and grumbling mouths
Too concerned with what I looked like in their eyes so I presented perfection
Coiffed and made up
Concealing this scream I wanted to let out
HELP ME!
So many times I wanted to love you without abandon
My broken heart kept me from saying yes
So I poured my love into this box
Alabaster
Costly
All I have
I’ve never spent so much or expected so much in return
I arose today with expectancy
My heart beating rapidly because I knew that if I sought you that I would find you
Your love called to me and I found You
Many questioned my presence but all I felt was Your presence
Standing before You now
My hands tremble because Your mercy sees me and calls me worthy
Unashamed for the first time I let my hair down
I give into this passion of loving you completely
I let it engulf me and it causes my box to break
I pour my life, my love, my all onto You and worship You
For the first time freely
For the first time wholly
For the first time truly seeing You for who You are
I see Your glory
I want to live there
My glory for your glory
Move me now from glory to glory
Never to be the same
Preparing You for the greatest act of love
Your love prepared me to receive it
Your body
Your blood
My broken box held my love for You
Your broken body held Your love for me
You poured Your love on me
Without restraint
With abandon
Gave me life with Your life
Your glory in exchange for mine
All of You for all of me
More than enough
Full
Complete
Finally
Whole

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what the day brings…

August 22, 2011 at 6:27 pm (art, beautiful, big gurl rules, black girls rock, celebrate, random, soul, thoughts, today, words)

Monday. Normally not my favorite day of the week since most often my Sundays are so busy. Not that I’m particularly thrilled it’s Monday, I mean I’m still sleepy as usual and would rather be home napping but I can’t ignore the buzz in my head compelling me to do something today. It’s in that spirit that I post some random thoughts that moved me today. Enjoy. Comment. Discuss. Remember to love and celebrate what the day brings…

the way men and women see color. interesting.

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it’s been a minute…it’s the little things…part quatre

July 6, 2011 at 7:38 pm (thoughts, today, words)

I’ve been super busy and I’m sorry I’ve neglected to post anything. I’m still super swamped but I thought that I needed to at least put up some thoughts that I’ve gathered in the past couple of weeks. Njoy! Love and light Campers!